Day 30 Spinning

I think it’s a negative spiral, not a negative loop. I’m seeing the same options over and over again but doing them less.

Today, I went to my therapy appointment and we talked about insurance for most of the time. I think I overstayed my welcome a little bit. She kept saying it was over (the session) and I was having a hard time leaving.

I’m always feeling hungry and wondering if it’s the medication or if I didn’t eat enough food.

Living with Bipolar 1 sucks. Everything that comes into my head is warped pretty quickly. It’s hard to think for a moment that I am normal and that I am healthy.

I currently reading I Thought It Was Just Me. (lent to me by my therapist) “Courage is a voice. Compassion is an ear.” I am struggling learning how to listen to people and develop compassion, for the others and for me.

I’m angry and terrified that everyday is this, as if I had no power to change it. I keep cycling through my regrets. I can’t believe I quit the most beautiful place in the world. It wasn’t perfect, but it was the place to be. I miss Seattle. This place is so broken.


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